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The chart-topping rogue also became frustrated. He had spent hours researching the best ways to maximize his damage, and in his mind, he was just trying to share the warhammer gold fruit of that research with other players in the guild.

"Why," he asked me, "does everyone get mad when I try to help them?" The answer I gave him was this: "You have to think more about how you deliver the message, so you don't come across as pompous or condescending.

You also have to plan your timing carefully, to extend the advice at a moment when the person is better able to absorb it." I'll get into these topics next week.

The first thing you should do is think about your guild's criticism culture. Your goal at this stage is to avoid ruffling feathers but also to get the person at least thinking about what he could do to improve. Most players fall somewhere between these two extremes (clueless and know-it-all).

You'll have to judge which approach is best as a starting point, if you have reason to believe that a direct critique will be poorly received. Very often, systematic problems in a player's game can't be "fixed" in a single conversation.